When you live in a perpetual state of crying inside and laughing on the outside, and you cannot say which is more genuine, is it a warning signal?

I say regularly that, were I given the chance to lessen the intensity of feeling that courses through me every second of every day, to ease the craziness, the confusion, the highs and the lows, I would refuse.  Every gasp, ever bubble of laughter, every choked cry--it is all beautiful, it is all precious, it is all a profound part of living that I dare not give up, for fear of forgetting who I am.  Nevertheless, once in a while, I am worn down and exhausted by the high, ecstatic levels at which I am living.  Once in a while, I wish I were a little duller, my heart a little quieter, just for a week or two. 

Maybe, then, I'd have peace enough to think.